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I apologize for anything I post while hungry

Humble, with just a hint of Kanye

I’d rather steal your dessert than your boyfriend

Sassy, classy with a touch of badassy

One day, I hope to become a grown up

Used to think I was a tad indecisive, but now I’m not quite sure

Life is short so I’m smiling while I’ve still got all my teeth

My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner topped with a chocolate dessert

Relationship status: Netflix and ice cream

The bags under my eyes are Chanel

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I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean but people always think I’m joking.

I’m a social media guru. No, really, I am.

The best of me is yet to come.

I’m jealous of my parents, I’ll never be able to have a kid as cool as theirs.

God bless this hot mess!

Where the heck am I? How did I get here?

Hi, my hobbies include breakfast, lunch and dinner.

A very caffeine dependant life form.

Always aiming to be a rainbow at the end of a thunderstorm.

Perfect has seven letter and so does meeeeee.

Kind of a good samaritan, terrible athlete, but extremely blessed in the napping skills department.

I have to be funny, because being hot just isn’t an option for me at this point.

Just another paper-cut survivor.

Just keep swimming.

Living vicariously through myself.

Making history.

Here to serve… The cat overlord.

I always prefer my puns to be intended.

Hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance?

I hope one day I love something the way women in commercials love yogurt.